I Don’t Wanna Be Like Mike The GM by Kyle Butler

There aren’t too many things one can be absolutely certain of in the NBA. However, two factors seem indisputable at this point. The first is that Michael Jordan was the best basketball player of all time. The second is that Michael Jordan is the worst front office decision-maker of all time. While we’ve understood the first claim to be true for quite some time, the second did not officially become clear until the Charlotte Bobcats made their selections in Thursday night’s NBA Draft.  

As the man with the final say in all Bobcats personnel moves, Jordan needed to address two important issues. Most importantly, Charlotte desperately needed more size up front, some help for Emeka Okafor in the paint. A secondary need for the Bobcats was a backup point guard for Raymond Felton, so the former UNC star doesn’t have to play 48 minutes every night. A point guard was not an immediate priority for the draft. Backup point guards can be found easily and inexpensively in the free agent market.  

With the 9^th and 20^th picks in the draft, at the least Charlotte figured to fix the size problem. Perhaps Kevin Love would fall to the 9^th spot. Or maybe the Bobcats could package the two picks together and trade up to a spot where they could grab Love, the UCLA star forward who could be an immediate factor for the club.  

For whatever reason, Jordan and the Bobcats either couldn’t or wouldn’t do this. Love was drafted 5^th by Memphis. But a silver lining appeared in the form of Brook Lopez. The 7-footer from Stanford inexplicably got passed over and was available at the 9^th slot. A perfect fit for the Bobcats, right? 

Wrong. To the amazement of yours truly and the ESPN analysts, Charlotte drafted point guard DJ Augustin from Texas. That did nothing to fix the size problem. At 5’11, Augustin would be one of the shortest point guards in the NBA.  

Based on this pick, one would imagine that Jordan was positive that Georgetown center Roy Hibbert would still be on the board at #20. The Bobcats made no secret of their desire to draft Hibbert, who, once again, would fix the size problem for the team. Ah, except for one problem. Hibbert was NOT available with the 20^th pick, instead going to Indiana at 17.

So with Hibbert gone, and with him the last of the good centers, the next assumption was that Charlotte would pick the best player available at 20. Maybe they did, if Jordan thinks that French 7’0 center Alexis Ajinca was the best player available. After all, Ajinca absolutely tore it up in the French basketball league, averaging a whopping 5 pts and 5 rebounds a night. To say Ajinca is a project is putting it kindly. It’s quite possible that the French center never plays for the Bobcats period.  

What does all this mean? Well, beside the fact that Jordan did another pathetic job with this draft, one that rivals the Kwame Brown debacle with the Wizards in 2002, it means the Bobcats are officially in rebuilding mode. It wasn’t necessary for Charlotte to be in rebuilding mode, as they were simply one player short of being a playoff contender. Now, Charlotte looks as far away from the postseason as ever. If Felton is dealt, as many are speculating, then the Bobcats will be inexperienced at the point, in addition to being undersized in the paint. That’s a bad combination for any team.  

Michael Jordan was the greatest player in NBA history, but as a GM his skills are sorely lacking. As an executive, His Airness has been an airball.

Bobcats Should Listen To The Beatles by Kyle Butler

“Number 9…Number 9…Number 9…Number 9″ -Revolution 9, The Beatles

I believe we can be quite certain that John Lennon wasn’t thinking about the Charlotte Bobcats when he wrote Revolution 9 back in 1968. That said, the Bobcats have nothing but the number 9 on their minds heading into this Thursday’s NBA Draft. Charlotte holds the 9th pick…a vitally important selection for the struggling franchise.

See, the Bobcats need a revolution of their own. We’re four years into the franchise’s run, and despite a solid group of young, talented players, Charlotte has never made the playoffs, and frankly hasn’t even come close. Considering they play in the Eastern Conference, that’s not a good sign. The team made a big step in convincing Larry Brown to come back to the state where his multiple-stop, cross-country coaching trek began all those years ago. Now the Bobcats need help from somebody, though not just anybody.  Who is that missing piece?

Quentin Thomas.

Thomas is the only draft-eligible player from UNC this year, and that automatically makes him the pick for the Tarheel-dominated Bobcats. Ok, so I’m obviously kidding. Well…hopefully. No, in order to change the franchise’s losing ways, Michael Jordan and the rest of the front office need to think about another Beatles song.

“All You Need Is Love“

That’s right. The difference maker, if he’s available at #9, is Kevin Love from UCLA. Larry Brown loves guys who have strong fundamental skills and high basketball IQ, and Love certainly fits that mold. Sure, he’s only 19 years old, and only played one year of college ball, but anyone who saw the UCLA forward play this past season could see the tremendous potential Love has. He brings immediate toughness to the Bobcats interior, provides significant rebounding help, and has good passing skills…which will make it difficult for opponents to double-team him down low. While he may be undersized, that’s ok. As it turns out, everyone who attends the NBA Pre-Draft camps was taller than everyone thought they were. Michael Beasley and Derrick Rose both shrunk over 2 inches, and they’re still expected to go 1 and 2 on Thursday night. Even Duke’s own DeMarcus Nelson dropped 3 inches to 6′1, which means two things. One…he has a better vertical leap than we realized. Two…Greg Paulus must be 5′8.

But I digress. Adding Love to the mix for the Bobcats is about as good a fit as the team can make. A lineup of Gerald Wallace, Emeka Okafor, Love, Jason Richardson, and Raymond Felton could make for a really exciting season, and a “Ticket to Ride” into the playoffs in the Queen City.

Running Diary on US Open Playoff by Kyle Butler

I decided to keep a running diary from yesterday’s US Open playoff between Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate. Here we go.

Prematch: ESPN runs an interview with Rocco with no sound. Apparently ESPN doesn’t notice this, and lets the interview keep running. Not a good sign. Hopefully the playoff is better than this.

Hole #1: Tiger pars. Good sign, since he double bogeyed the hole 3x this week. Rocco misses his par to the left, as Johnny Miller predicts. Miller is a genius, and by far the smartest analyst out there in any sport. It probably won’t be his last astute observation today.

Hole #2: Not much to this hole. Both make par. ESPN just realized that viewers didn’t hear the Rocco interview, and Dan Hicks assures us it was a good sound bite, but offers no details. I don’t think Dan was listening anyway.

Hole #3: Wow! Rocco nearly holed it on this Par 3. Tiger makes a mess of it and bogeys. That means Rocco’s ahead! Wasn’t sure if we’d see him in front at all today.

Hole #4: Is something wrong with Tiger? Rocco outdrove him on the 4th…what the bleep?! But Rocco, who hasn’t won in 6 years, doesn’t take advantage of it, as both par the hole.

Hole #5: Tiger has to wait on the tee because the MetLife blimp is flying precariously low, and right in the path of his vision. He looks ticked off. I guess we won’t be seeing Mr. Woods in any commercials with Snoopy anytime soon. Meanwhile, Rocco looks like me on the course, and hits the cart path twice with his 2nd shot. We’re all tied up.

Hole #6: This par 4 measures 500 yards. I’d probably get there in 5. Tiger gets there in 2, and makes his birdie putt. This guy is something else.

Hole #7: Uh oh. Things could get out of hand, cause Tiger is on fire. Another birdie for the man in red. How Woods reads greens so well is astounding. Anything inside 15 feet seems just about automatic…who else can do that?

Hole #8: Woods chooses to hit a 7 iron off the tee on this par 3. Johnny Miller openly questions Tiger’s choice. Tiger proceeds to hit an awful shot into the bunker, and makes bogey. I continue to be astounded at how often Miller predicts someone will hit a poor shot before they hit it.

Hole #9: Tiger chunks a bunker shot, but makes par. Rocco bogeys after an awful 3 putt. Tiger’s 2 ahead at the turn, and things look pretty bad for Rocco.

Hole #10: NBC begins its afternoon coverage. The first thing viewers hear is Tiger yelling “Goddammit!” after hitting a bad tee shot. Johnny Miller apologizes to the viewers, but it’s not like it’s his fault. Rocco is probably cursing in his mind too after another bogey. Woods is up by 3. This thing is over.

Hole #11: What’s up with these par 3’s? Tiger has hit into the trap all 3 times, and ends up with another bogey. Still, he’s up by 2, and in good shape.

Hole #12: Tiger is spending so much time in the sand, he should carry a bucket and spade with him. He bogeys again. Rocco’s not doing much of anything, but trails by just 1 shot. Some birdies would make this interesting.

Hole #13: Both guys play this par 5 well. Birdies for both, and Tiger stays up by a shot.

Hole #14: This par 4 can be reached in one, but both end up short. Rocco’s birdie putt drops, and finally, after 4 1/2 days, Tiger lips one out. Unbelievably, we are tied!

Hole #15: Tiger’s in the bunker again! What the heck’s goin on? Rocco makes a putt longer than 6 feet for the first time all day. He’s made 3 straight birdies, and leads by 1 with 3 to play! Tiger’s lost 4 shots in 5 holes to a guy not ranked in the top 100!

Hole #16: Both par the final par 3 on the course. That’s an accomplishment for Woods, who’s been awful on the par 3’s today. But he’s still down a shot.

Hole #17: Tiger makes another par. Rocco’s got about 2 feet left. Miller points out that it’s not automatic…it’s a Scott Hoch length putt. Hoch famously missed a 2 foot putt that would’ve won him the Masters years ago. But Rocco doesn’t pull a Hoch Choke, and makes his putt.

Hole #18: If Rocco hits the fairway, he can win this thing! But he decides he wants to play in the sand and has to lay up. Tiger hits the par 5 in 2, makes his birdie putt. Rocco has a putt to win the Open…and misses to the left! You can’t let those chances slip away. We’re going to a playoff. I think we know how this is gonna end.

PLAYOFF: 7th Hole: Well he stayed with the greatest player in the game’s history for 90 holes, but the 91st was too much for Rocco. Bad drive, bad 2nd shot, bad hole for Mediate. Tiger makes his par, and Rocco’s long try slips by on the right. So Tiger gets the win in one of the great golf tournaments in recent memory.

Wild Day at Torrey Pines by Kyle Butler

Well, four rounds won’t be enough to decide the winner of the 108th US Open. Well…officially, anyway. For, unless his knee actually detaches from the rest of his body, there is zero chance that Tiger Woods doesn’t take home the trophy after tomorrow’s 18 hole playoff with Rocco Mediate.

Please don’t think I’m picking on poor Rocco. I’m rooting for the guy. I was cheering him on all day, and for a brief moment, it looked like he might squeak this one out. He just needed one more big putt, one more big shot…something to put the nail in the coffin. Instead, Rocco’s par on the 72nd hole left enough of an opening to allow Tiger to do what Tiger does…hit another clutch shot when he needs it most.

If there’s any athlete who consistently hits clutch shots as often or as effectively as Tiger Woods, I’ve never seen them. I mean, here he is, floundering about on the back nine. Missing the fairway here, leaving an approach short there, sliding putts to the left or right. Yet despite all these poor shots, he somehow pulls out the big saver when he needs it. On Sunday, it was his 3rd shot on the par 5 18th, from an awful lie to about 12 feet. Then, with all the pressure in the world on his shoulders…he sinks the putt. Who else sinks that putt? Vijay? Nah. Ernie Els? Forget it. And certainly not Phil Mickelson, who was too busy missing fairways with his 3 wood to become a factor at all this weekend.

So while there are 18 holes to play, again, based on what we’ve seen over the years, there’s not one thing to indicate that Rocco’s got the slightest chance of winning. I’m rooting for the guy, cause it would be a “Cinderella Story” (for all you Caddyshack afficionados), but I just can’t see it happening. So here’s the prediction for tomorrow, with a recap to come on Tuesday.

PREDICTION: Woods- 72  Mediate- 75

MLB Power Poll 6/2/08 by Kyle Butler

Here’s the latest MLB Power Poll with games played through Sunday, June 1st.

AL EAST

Tampa Bay (3)  Maybe Tampa should’ve dropped “Devil” from Devil Rays 5 years ago.
Boston (4)  Manny Ramirez is proof that even total nutcases can hit 500 homers.
Toronto (9)  Not a good sign when your top power hitter is Matt Stairs.
NY Yankees (15)  Is moving Joba Chamberlain to the rotation really a good idea?
Baltimore (22)  O’s in last, but still playing far better than expected.

AL CENTRAL

Chicago W.S. (14)  The lineup’s been awful, and Mark Buehrle is 2-6, yet White Sox are tops in the Central.
MInnesota (16)  Delmon Young and Joe Mauer have a combined 393 AB’s and 0 HR’s.
Cleveland (23)  Indians hitting a horrific .233 as a team. Hard to believe an MLB team could be that lousy.
Detroit (26)  Tigers have 5 former All-Stars from the Marlins. All of them have been disappointing.
Kansas City (27)  Kind of hard to recover from those pesky 12 game losing streaks.

AL WEST

LA Angels (2)  Outstanding starting pitching has lifted Halos to the top of the West.
Oakland (10)  A’s get Eric Chavez off the DL, just in time to put Frank Thomas on it.
Texas (19)  Josh Hamilton is single-handedly keeping Rangers relevant.
Seattle (29)  As if watching the Sonics wasn’t bad enough, now Seattle fans have to watch the M’s.

NL EAST

Philadelphia (7)  Chase Utley continues to annihilate opposing pitching.
Florida (8)  Entire Marlins team makes 6 million less than A-Rod, and Marlins have better record than Yanks.
Atlanta (13)  Braves should watch The Road Warrior. Have lost 20 consecutive one-run games on the road dating to last season.
NY Mets (17)  Pedro’s coming back, but is he enough to save Willie Randolph?
Washington (25)  Nats hitting .231 as a team…wow, that’s worse than the Indians!!

NL CENTRAL

Chicago Cubs (1)  Cubs have best record in MLB through May. Last time that happened…1908.
St. Louis (5)  Albert Pujols closing in on 300 HR’s at the age of 28.
Houston (11)  Five straight losses for Astros. Houston…we have a problem.
Milwaukee (12)  Brewers desperately need a #2 guy behind Ben Sheets in the starting rotation.
Cincinnati (18)  In his first 6 MLB games, Jay Bruce is 13 for 22 with 3 2B’s, 2 HR’s, and 2 SB’s. Not too shabby.
Pittsburgh (21)  Pirates are 3-9 against the Cubs, and 23-21 against everyone else.

NL WEST

Arizona (6)  More good news for the Rocket. Randy Johnson’s next strikeout will push him past Clemens for 2nd on the all time list.
Los Angeles (20)  Nobody on the Dodgers has more than 5 home runs. In a word…pathetic.
San Francisco (24)  Father Time may have finally caught up to Omar Vizquel (.188-0-5)
San Diego (28)  Can Greg Maddux get some run support here? Not in San Diego.
Colorado (30)  Rockies have hit rock bottom, blowing an 8 run lead in Chicago on Thursday.